Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Ricky Martin is... WAIT FOR IT... Gay!

Ricky Martin has shockingly came out of the closet. A genuinely shocking turn of events. In other news, tomatoes are fruit and Michael Jackson is dead.

I have no problem with people staying in closet. I wish all gay people would come out because it's so lonely, stuffy and sad in the closet, but I understand why some people are scared to come out. Some afraid they'll be rejected by their family while others are actually afraid for their lives. Some are serving in the US Army. There are reasons, some better than others.

It's all nice and well, but when you know you are gay and you decide to have children you must come out of the closet. It's non-negotiable as far as I'm concerned. You can only choose one thing: be in the closet or be a parent. Otherwise you stick your children in the closet with you which is selfish and cruel. That's what annoyed me so much about Jodie Foster's constant battle with the lesbian rumour. What kind of message are you sending to your children when you hide this basic and essential fact about who you are? Nobody cares about the sexual details of what you do in bed (well, that's not true, many do). No need to explain who you had sex with, but if you start a family and keep it hidden, that's just creepy.

When you have children you have to completely accept the fact that you're gay and that it's OK. Children of gay couples are going to encounter bigotry and ignorance and they need to be able to look up to their gay parents for support. You must be able to project unflinching confidence, not give them the feeling that maybe there is something here to be ashamed of.

So I really do hope Ricky Martin is coming out for the children he had via surrogacy a couple of years ago, though I suspect it's more likely to be a business decision. Just like staying in the closet was a business move to keep his female fan base going strong, now that his music career is practically dead and he has a new book on the way this seems to be the perfect way to promote it.

Either way, at least now his kids won't be growing up in a stuffy closet, so that's a good thing. It's just a shame he didn't come out of the closet when he was actually an influential role model, but meh... What can you do?



Jon said...

I think body language says it all. If you look at Ricky's posture in that picture, looking away from the kids. It's staged. But not staged very well. He's always struck me as a self-absorbed, narcissistic twit. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he had those kids as a publicity stunt to keep him in the news. Oh and as for his coming out, well I don't think there are too many people who are going to go to their graves wondering if Ricky Martin was gay or straight, I mean hello????? Rumour has it that he came out because he was about to be outed.

whacked daddy said...

I totally agree you have to be honest when you have kids.

Can't hide anything from kids anyway. Hannah already runs around the playground yelling, "I have 2 daddies."

I hope Martin finds peace with his decision and can move on with his life.

Marco said...

Why are you assuming he wasn't out? Maybe he always refused to talk about it publicly, but this doesn't mean he wasn't out to the people that mattered to him :his family, his friends and his kids!
They call it private life for a reason. He never denied to be gay, he simply refused to comment on it.
I respect his decision and it totally makes sense. Just because you are a public figure doesn't mean you have to feed to the press everything about yourself and I admire who manages to do that.
Furthermore, we didn't really need a confirmation as we all knew he is a fairy, but then what has he done wrong?
If you live your sexuality in a demure way (and I am saying demure, not closeted or in denial....), you are doing just what any average person would do.
Do you all advertise your sexual preferences?
If I was in his place I probably would do the same thing, the last thing I would need is my kids seeing me trashed and ridiculed across all the tabloids and by the very group I belong to: the homos.
Come on, you have to admit it, you can see it here as well, we are all ready to give him a bashing and we feel like we have the right to. But why?

Mickey said...

When you are a celebrity you're going to be trashed in the tabloids anyway, especially if you're successful. Are you telling me not coming out of the closet was Ricky Martin's way of avoiding being trashed in the media? Didn't quite work, did it?

Celebrities always flaunt their latest hot relationship in the media, or at least don't hide it. Hiding it means there's something to be ashamed of. If you're a gay celebrity and you leave your same-sex partner at home when attending an awards show or any other event to avoid being seen together publicly that's just pathetic and unhealthy and sends the message to your children (and fans) that being gay is wrong. Is it better for the children to see the tabloids gossiping about daddy dating some hot floozy when they know he's in a relationship with papa?

I can imagine how a closeted gay celebrity briefs his kids to lie to avoid exposing the "secret". It makes my skin crawl.

I don't "advertise" my sexual preference, but I will bring my husband as my plus one to events I'm invited to and if a colleague at work asks me about my wife I'll point out I have a husband.

We'll just have to agree to disagree, Marco.


Jon said...

Harvey Milk once said that it's easy to despise gays because you don't know them, but it's much harder to do so when you realize you actually know one and like that person because then you see them as a human being, not some faceless group. I don't knw about overseas, but Ricky has always aligned himself with the Hispanic culture in the US. If nothing else, his coming out will have a HUGE IMPACT on the Hispanic community in the US, many of whom are scared to death to come out given their deeply ingrained Catholicism (touché, here we go again with the conundrum of religion versus sexual orientation). There are about 50 million Hispanics in the US, so if even 5% is gay, that's a couple of million people who will feel better about themselves and their lifestyles now that someone like Ricky has come out. They now have a face to that celebrity who is gay and this gay celebrity is also a father, which gives these people hope that they too can become parents despite their sexual orientation. You're right Ricky doesn't have to lift a finger; but with celebrity comes a debt to society, or at the very least to the people who made you famous honesty is needed. In America, the public looks to celebrities to provide them with social and cultural guidance and oftentimes a celebrity can be the catalyst for social change. I don't know if you're old enough to remember, but the minute Rock Hudson revealed he had AIDS, it was a game-changer for the crisis as President Reagan (he and his wife were close friends of Rock) had to publicly discuss the crisis for the first time in his presidency and it was the catalyst for the US government to finally acknowledge the depth of the crisis and begin to allocate funds to find a treatment/cure. This is just one example of the impact one celebrity's lifestyle can have on a public debate. You're right Ricky can just stay in the closet and march on with his life; but that seems so cowardly and selfish. Do you think his kids will commend him for that silence in about 30 years, when being gay will probably be an irrelevnat footnote when discussing a person in most of the US and Europe? I personally don't have a stomach for Ricky but do recognize the importance and courage to do what he did, whether it was forced or not.

Marco said...

Guys, you are missing my point ENTIRELY! How can you assume that he was not already out? Just because you don't read the confirmation on OK magazine or wherever, it doesn't mean Ricky was not out to the people around him that mattered to him.
Also, how can you say that a celebrity "owes" anything to the fans? Don't they pay enough for being famous? Endless gossip, constant attack to the privacy, constant speculation on everything that is perceived as 'news'?
He has NEVER been linked to a man (or a woman for that matter...), he has been hugely speculated about simply because he is a supremely hot piece of ass and a sex symbol.
Aside from the significance his coming out will have for the Hispanic community and the gay community, this is a person we are talking about, we don't know him, we know what he does on stage and what we read on the papers about him, but we don't know him. He has the rights to live his sexuality as he sees fit. And I don't believe FOR A SECOND that his two year olds twins have been groomed into thinking that daddy is straight/daddy is a closeted fag/don't tell anyone about daddy's boyfriend/homosexuality is bad. They are too young to understand sexuality and gender roles.
Does that mean I will have to fly the rainbow flag into my child's face just to make sure he doesn't get the wrong idea as he grows up?
Ricky might have chosen to go to an event with a female friend, it was US that assumed she was posing as girlfriend. Maybe he doesn't have a boyfriend, maybe she is a very good friend.
As usual, it's us, the public that create a sensation. He can go anywhere he wants with whoever he wants.
Remember those pictures of Ricky in Speedos on the beach doing yoga with another gorgeous guy?
They run riots on the tabloids "RICKY IS A FAG!!!"
It turned out that the guy was his brother.
We are free to assume whatever we want about him, but we cant be so presumptuous as to believe we are right.
Ricky is a gay guy, probably single, who likes a quiet family life, whose upbringing probably has drummed into his head the value of privacy, and we are here insinuating (like any other tabloid) that he's got something to hide just because he is not on the float at the gay parade. I strongly disagree. But I still love you (ish...) :0) x

Mickey said...

I can be out to my family and friends, but be in the closet at work. That's essentially what Ricky did. That's not being out.

He can do whatever the hell he wants as far as I'm concerned, but I don't have to support or like every decision he makes.

Jon said...

My litmus test for "being out" depends on how you respond to the question if someone asks you if you are gay. If you respond yes, you are out; if you gay and respond no or plead the fifth, it means you are not out and ashamed of your sexual orientation. Full stop. For the record, Ricky has never stated yes or no, he's always managed to plead the fifth when asked this question by the public, so I would be hesitant to categorize him as out. In fact Marco, he JUST CAME OUT yesterday officially on his website to the entire world, so I have no idea where you get the idea that he may have been out all along???? To whom, his hairdresser? Or his bichon-frissee.


Have fun in Lazio land ! 8-Q

Mark said...

Oh my, you guys write a lot. I've said it before and I really mean it. I love how you can hold a friendly debate without going over the top. I'm always afraid that I'll hurt someone's feelings. I know, that's not very brave of me. But I really do enjoy watching the back and forth and trying to understand everyone's point of view.
Your Friend, m.

Marco said...

You know what? I'm bored now... I'm tired of defending Ricky, I have suitcases to pack and no intention whatsoever to get started.....
Bring on the chocolates!
I wish you all a Happy Easter!