Friday, May 21, 2010

Eddie - The Saga Continues to Continue

Part 1 Part 2

Chapter Five: In Which I Fight Back and Learn an Important Lesson About Love and Friendship

Well, that second part of the chapter title is nonsense, but I think it makes it sound much more promising.

Yesterday I took Blake and walked to our local police station. Before I left I needed to do some research to fill in some blanks. Up until yesterday I didn't know Uselessa's name or where she lived. Now I knew her first initial and last name, but still no address, since she was too cowardly to sign her letter with her full name and address. I knew the street as I once saw Uselesson come out of one of the houses, but didn't remember the number. I went to an on-line phone directory and found only one Norman family living on said street. Thanks to Google Maps I could find a picture of her house in seconds. As I walked past the suspected house on the way to the station I saw Uselesson talking to someone just outside. Gotcha!  Totally went CSI on their asses.

Blake and I arrived at the police station only to realize it was shut.

Oh well, we walked back home and took the car to the other nearest station. Blake is always up for adventure so he thought it was quite exciting. We had to wait about forty minutes, but eventually we were seen by a nice officer who looked a little like Don Cheadle.

 Officer Cheadle

We were in a small room with a divider between us. I let Blake play on the ground with one of his toy cars and my iPhone while I chatted to Don. I explained that I would've come right after the incident, but I had to go to work and this was my first day off since. I didn't bore him with too many details and he said/she said nonsense. That's what I have my blog for. I explained that me and my dogs have been terrorised by Eddie for eight years, describing the key incidents and giving whatever details I had about Uselessa.

"Did he attack any people?" Don interjected.

"No." I replied. "But if my not-quite-yet two year old son is with me when this sort of incident takes place he can get hurt and I don't want to wait for that to happen. This dog is a menace and he's been stressing me for eight years now."

"Well, you can't file a complaint when no people were attacked." Mr Cheadle informed me. "I'll tell you what can be done. There's a local team assigned to your area. They can talk to this woman and let her know she needs to blah blah blah, I was pretty awesome in Iron Man 2, right? I'm not going to say no to a War Machine spin off movie, but how many super hero movies are there with black men in the lead? Blade doesn't count because while being based on a comicbook he's not really a superhero and Hancock... Well, I guess Hancock counts. Forget I said anything."

Can't quite remember the exact wordings and I'm too tired to make it up properly. Basically Uselessa is going to be either visited or get a phone call from that team. I wish I could see the expression on her face when that happens. I gave him all my details and what I managed to piece together about Uselessa.

So I finished up quickly telling the cop that I just wanted to put it on record because if this will carry on I can't guarantee the safety of her dogs and if this sort of incident will take place when my son is present I myself will take action against these out of control dogs before they get anywhere near him. It's been eight years and enough is enough. Don Cheadle smiled politely and apologized for taking part in Hotel for Dogs (he thought it was going to be with Julia Roberts, not her bratty niece Emma) and we parted ways.

That made me think... Why did I get a visit and a letter directly from Uselessa? Why didn't I get a letter or visit from the authorities? And thinking about this letter, why didn't she sign it with her full name and address? What's the point of sending a copy of it to the police station if it doesn't have her full details? 

I'm beginning to think she never went to the police nor sent them a copy of her letter. Maybe she called the station to give her distorted version of the story. I think she was just trying to scare me into paying her invoice, which is yet to arrive. She knows too well that there are too many witnesses who will be happy to confirm that evil Eddie is always off the lead and out of control. I doubt my dogs are the only ones he harasses.

I'm just glad it was one of her dogs who got hurt. If the incident happened near a road and one of my dogs would've been hit by a car this would've been far more upsetting. Hopefully it scared her into keeping her dogs on the lead, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

I don't know if the authorities are going to contact her and I don't care. I'm done for now. She might decide to make another move or not, but I'm sure we'll meet again in one of our morning walks sooner or later. 

Until then, I'd like to move on. It's Blake's birthday on Sunday and that's what I'm going to concentrate on from now. Enough talking about bitches.


What happened next? Read the sequel Road to Doggie Juvie!

1 comment:

Mark said...

How did I miss this Post? And what's up with that hot picture of Officer Cheadle? Was your officer shirtless too? That's it, I need to move to London!
I knew that she was bluffing all the time. You stick to your guns and play by the letter of the law and you'll be just fine.
Your Friend, m.