Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Eddie - The Saga Continues

Part 1 


Chapter Four: In Which I Go "Oh No She Didn't!"

After yesterday's events I wasn't sure if there would be any new developments today. I was intending to go to the police tomorrow anyway. I came home from college, picked Blake up from his nursery and chilled at home. In the middle of watching Lost's penultimate episode (which wasn't actually too bad), Miron walked in with a letter he just noticed was placed in our mailbox.

Oh yes.

The letter was addressed to "The Owner of Leo and other", which resulted in Dexter getting the nickname "other" for the rest of the evening. I now know that Uselessa is really called S Norman and that her little bitch is called Pippa. I would still rather refer to her as Uselessa with your kind approval. 

According to Uselessa the attack occurred when my dogs broke free from me. Not one word about Eddie initiating the attack, rushing my dogs growling and barking from across the field with Uselessa running after him and screaming his name until he got an inch away from my dogs. She went on about the surgery and the injuries Pippa obtained and said how she was appaled not only by the "horrific attack", but also my "apparent lack of concern".

She then went on to helpfully urge me to muzzle my dogs (I'm not joking, she's actually giving dog handling tips!) and informed me that both the police and her vet notified her that I am liable for the vet costs (after hearing her abridged version, I'm sure) and she will be forwarding me the invoice for settlement as soon as she gets it. Good. Who knows when we'll run out of toilet paper.

This is the part where I channel my inner black girl and go "Uh-huh! On no, you didn't!".

Tomorrow morning I'll take Blake for a morning walk and visit the local police branch. I was annoyed and stressed by Eddie for a long time, but there isn't much that can be done in situations like this. Also, I didn't know the Uselessons' names and address, but now that's not a problem. I'll go and give my side of the story, not only yesterday's events, but the last eight years.

Don't get me wrong. I feel very bad for Pippa, but not guilty. I keep replaying yesterday's events and can't see what I could've possibly done differently. My dogs are bigger and can cause damage when they jump around with little dogs. True, but they didn't initiate the fight. If they really wanted to hurt the Jack Russels, neither one would be alive right now.

Of course I couldn't concentrate on the rest of the Lost episode and didn't enjoy it as much as I should've. Lovely.

Anyway, to be freakin' continued! You betcha.

--Mickey

Part 3

8 comments:

.jon said...

Oh oh, this doesn't sound good. Have you considered just ignoring her? Or do you have to respond to this letter?

PS - in the Greek language, "Pippa" is slang for a bl*wj*b. Vannah, give us an "o"
I'd point that out to her... Hehehehe

Mickey said...

I could just ignore her, which might be a better way to annoy her. But I wanted to do complain about her for a long time so I might as well.

The fact that she had to send me a letter rather than have policemen show up at my place is a good sign of her lack of case, though I would love for them to drop by to meet the "monsters".

Marco said...

I am still sticking to my advice.... NUKE THE BASTARDS! :0)

P.S.
Mickey, if you ignore her and avoid the issue, you will look as if you are trying to hide and that you are in the wrong. Go immediately to the police and give your version of the story....
Anybody with a dog called Blowjob can only be a danger that needs to be contained...
See you on sunday gal! mwah! x

Mickey said...

It doesn't matter. She doesn't have a case unless she goes to court, and I'd like to see her try.

I went to the local police branch but it was shut. Miron is going to write a letter to them and we'll leave it at that for now.

I'll probably try stalking her with a video camera to get video evidence, but I won't be surprised if Eddie is going to be on the lead for the next few weeks... We'll see.

Mickey said...

Oh, and don't girl me, girl.

.jon said...

If you can't video the lasciviously-promiscuously-fornicating-immorally-and-shamelessly-named mutt (I'm referring to the dog), you could always get eyewitness accounts of others who have observed this behavior. I betcha there are others who'd like to see BJ's mother put in her place as well.

I don't know about UK law, but in the US you would have to pay damages and at the very least medical costs for an incident like this, regardless of whether or not your dog was incited. I know it s*cks but here the burden is on the dog owner to control and restrain their dog under all circumstances. Dont' get me wrong, I feel you are completely in the right in this matter and your dogs behaved out of instincts; I only offer this as another glimpse of how this would be perceived elsewhere and that is the only reason I suggested you ignore her and let her prove what happened. Innocent till proven guilty as we say in the States... By acknowledging the issue, you may be falling into the trap of acknowledging it occcurred as the she-bitch stated.

Marco, you know between you and Mickey and the menopausal and criminally-insane Uselessa, you could all start filming the "Desperate Housewives of London Proper" !! Promise me a bit role as the bitchy but gorgeous American cousin, prego!!

Ciao bello (note machismo form of noun used)

Mickey said...

Chapter 4 coming tonight! But until then:

Jon, in the US if you run into a highway and get hit by a car, do they have to pay your hospital bills? Because it's the same scenario.

If her dogs sticks his head in my dog's mouth, there's nothing anyone can do. He's committing suicide.

I'm not liable to pay any costs, at least not without Uselessa taking me to court, which I just don't see happening as she knows she has no case. I have several witnesses to back me up.

It does sound a bit like a silly subplot that was cut out of Desperate Housewives for being too lame even for that show.

Mark said...

Yeah, I'm thinking that if a dog is unleashed and comes after my leashed dogs, I am in the right regardless of what happens to the other dog. If I'm walking my dogs and a dog comes chasing after me/my dogs, I'm not sticking around to be in the middle of a fight. Even if I could hold my dogs back, I'm letting go of that leash and say that it was for my own protection that I got myself to a safe place(on top of a car). I don't think that she actually did submit a formal complaint to the police. My guess is that she is bluffing to see if you just pay the bill and be quiet about it. Please don't. Fight! Go to Judge Judy, she'll take your side for sure. m.