Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Final Destination 5

I'm going to try and guess the plot for Final Destination 5: 

A group of young people (consisting of regular kid, regular girl, jerk, bitch, weirdo/loner, black guy, milf) are going to nearly die in a mass accident but be saved by regular boy or girl who has a premonition. 

Why are you standing in the middle of the racing track striking a pose? RUN!!!

They will start dying one by one in freak accidents while trying to figure out a way to stop death. When they think they figured out a way to stop death they realize that actually they didn't and they shockingly die anyway. 

Horror movies prey on the audience's real life fears. In this case, dying from an explosion while watching a 3D movie. 

Some of the death scenes will involve many fake-outs when something we think might kill the characters doesn't. Regular boy/girl will find a way decipher clues for the next death, but most of the time be too late. It'll often involve lots of bad acting, generic soulless casting and increasingly more and more idiotic set pieces.

Oh my! A sharp pipe. I better lean forward and position my head right in front it so the airbag will impale my head on it.

Yeah, bad idea.

Get back to me next year to see how much of it I guessed correctly.

I actually enjoyed all of the Final Destination movies, but with each one I enjoyed it less and less. I guess if I enjoy FD5 more than I did FD4 it'll be a step in the right direction.

Don't worry, they're not dead. They just fell asleep like half of the audience. 



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