Dex to Mex here. Yo. Let's keep it quick coz I got CRAZY plans for tonight. Me and some bitches are gonna paint the town yellow. I drank a lot and gonna pee like there's no tomorrow.
Where was I? Yeah. The hedgehog. The other day I found a hedgehog and Papa was so jealous he kept chasing me and trying to get it out of my mouth. Get your own, cuddlebutt! Eventually he got the spiky thing and what does he do? WHAT DOES HE DO? Let the bugger go. Could not believe it.
So... GAAAAH. Enough. I don't know if you figured it out, but it's not really Dexter writing. It's still me, Mickey. No, seriously. I only pretended to be Dexter. No, seriously. I know it was utterly convincing and I fooled you and I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to deceive. I promise to never abuse my divine writing skills again in order to impersonate (or more like imdogate) someone else.
The thing is, Dexter is very hard to control and ever since the fight with the Jack Russels he became even more of a handful. His intentions are good and pure, but he's gotta figure out that he's not in charge. So off he goes to training school for three weeks. We weren't sure if we were going to send Leo as well as he's easier to control and also older, but we were told that if only one of them gets the training all the bad habits from the other dog will rub right back as soon as they reunite, which makes sense.
So, much as it breaks my heart, tomorrow we're going to all pile into the car and drive for almost four hours to South Wales to drop the doggies at summer camp. At least I'd rather think of it as summer camp. Just hopefully not the kind with machete wielding, hockey mask wearing killers.
We've been away from the dogs in the past for three weeks. We were even away for four months when we had to go to Toronto for Blake's birth. But this is the first time we'll be staying home and the dogs won't be here. I never stayed in this house without having to feed and walk my doggies. The house is going to be so empty... No Leo snoring next to our bed. No Dexter combo stringing farts as he goes down the stairs.
And they're not going to like it. Especially Leo who's very attached and neurotic. We asked the trainers to keep an eye on Leoshy and if he doesn't settle in and is too upset we'll drive right over to pick him up and take him home.
I kinda want to drop them off already and get it over with, as waiting for that moment is so upsetting. Then after that I can start the countdown toward the teary reunion with two clever and well behaved doggies who can show off to daddy and papa all the new tricks they learned.
Not to mention that taking the dogs out will be far less stressing and I'll be spending more time vertically during the walks.