Thursday, May 27, 2010

Hitler was sooo gaaay.

OK, first watch this clip:

We know homophobes exist. We hope that most of them are people we can educate and enlighten. It would've been quite accurate to describe my mother as severely homophobic in the past and she only saw the light after I came out to her and she realized I was still the same son she knew and loved and everything she thought she knew about "those gay people" was wrong.

It is a bit annoying sometimes to feel that we need to justify our right to exist and take it upon ourselves to dispel unfair stereotypes, but we do it anyway. Those of us who aren't in the closet hope that by being visible we can show people that we're not better or worse than straight people.

And then you see people like this Bryan Fischer from the clip above. What can you say to a guy who claims that not only Hitler and his peeps were all gay, they were extra evil and vicious because they were gay.  I know delusional crazies exist and I hear all kind of nonsense on a regular basis, but this was a rare occasion when my jaw just dropped for a few long seconds.

Where did he get this nonsense? Did he acquire some secret documents? Obviously he's lying, but is he aware of that? Does he make it up, justifying his lies for "the greater good", or does he really believe this crap due to some severe psychosis? 

How did these events exactly unfold anyway? Hitler came to his guys and was like "hey gang, slow day. Lets go kill Jews! Burn them and gas them; women and children too!" and his straight crew was all "hellz no, what are yo smokin' bro? We're outta here, peace out!". So Hitler was all bummed out that he couldn't carry his crazy plans and then he remembered that he was gay and that he and all of his gay friends were super evil and therefore were perfect for his plans! So he opened a Facebook group for gay evil people and that's how he recruited his people. The end.

Anyway, I can joke about the idiocy and ridiculousness of it all, but we should really be afraid. Because anyone who actually believes this nonsense is a very dangerous person. To make it even creepier these vile people are hiding under the most innocent-looking disguises possible, an organization that claims to promote family values.

AFA stands for American Family Association, but I think it's more apt to stand for American Fundamentalist Assholes.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Lost Post

This isn't a post that got lost, it's about the TV show Lost. Just to make it clear. It's not some incredible post I wrote years ago and misplaced it and can finally share it with the world. It's just yet another post about the Lost finale. OK? Hope it's not a cause for disappointment. There was, after all, enough disappointment with the Lost finale.

If you're still reading this post you do realize there are going to be spoilers right? So I hope you already saw the last episode. If you don't care and don't plan to watch Lost and just want a quick summary of what the hell happened, here's a quick recap:
A bunch of people crash land on an island and wonder what the fudge is going on since there's a smoke monster and people who are already on the island who are mean though through flashbacks we see these people met before the island and are tied together by faith. They try to figure out what's going on and some of them even get off the island only to return to fulfil their destiny which is that one of them needs to take over protecting some weird light in a cave.

Then everybody dies and hang out in a church in the afterlife and there's also a polar bear.

Mmm... Is that how they initially pitched the TV show? How the heck did it get made?


This College Humor video sums up quite comically all the unanswered questions we were left with (I'm glad they picked up on the same point I made about Jin and Sun's "romantic" death).

I thought the ending was crap due to leaving so many important questions unanswered.

Awful, awful, awful. Sentimental crap. Having characters stare at each other with teary eyes with sad slow music is only effective the first couple of million times.

I felt bad during the last ten minutes because for a second there I thought it might actually be good. They obviously planned out the core storyline of Jacob protecting the island and needing a replacement, but all the other excessive detail that was supposed to keep the fans guessing was actually a load of crap without a point.

Some of Lost defenders argue that it's not really about the mystery or the destination, it's about the characters and the journey, but I say bull. The main premise of Lost was the mystery and the show creators were encouraging fans to obsess over clues and hints, most of which were complete nonsense. It's lazy and misleading. The answer to everything: it's all magic.

Lost had lots of great moments. I still think the twist ending of series 3 with the first flashforward was one of my favourite TV moments. Really made me get up off the couch and go "wow, no way!" But the ending ruined it. It's like having a fine meal and end it with dog excrement for dessert. It ruins the whole experience. To the point that I'll tell to anyone who never watched the show, don't bother.
Meh, glad it's over.



Oh, and this is hilarious. That's it, no more Lost talk! EVER!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Neil Patrick Harris

I must have seen several episodes of Doogie Howser, but nothing really stuck in my memory. I was aware that Neil Patrick Harris was still around, mostly from his memorable role in Starship Troopers, but that was about it. 

A few months ago I decided to try How I Met Your Mother and by now I caught up with all the episodes that aired so far. The show is basically a Friends clone that tries really hard  not to be a friends clone and while it's nowhere as good, it's consistently entertaining. The cast is good, but there's no doubt that Neil Patrick Harris carries the show. He's absolutely amazing as Barney. I was also aware that he was openly gay so I was very pleased that he proved that a gay man can play a straight womaniser convincingly.

Today I found this interview he had on Ellen three years ago.

What can I say, I was a bit disappointed.  On the one hand I appreciate his honesty. He could've said that he decided to come out of the closet to inspire other gay people and use his status as a popular star to help raise acceptance, but instead he said the truth: He came out of the closet because some scandal with one of his old flames was going to explode in the papers and he wanted to pre-empt it. What can I say, it left me a bit cold.

We hear the occasional idiot argueing that a gay person isn't going to be convincing in a straight role. This is obviously a load of crap. A good actor is a good actor. After all you don't see straight actors being accused of being unconvincing when they portray gay or transsexual characters (Tom Cruise, Felicity Huffman, Al Pacino and so on). So to hear Neil Patrick Harris actually admitting that he was staying in the closet so he won't be denied straight roles was actually a little bit depressing.

I can't judge him, though. Maybe if he did come out of the closet before getting role of Barney in HIMYM he might've never gotten it. Who knows. It's just a little bit uninspiring.


Gays are Welcome but...

Don't really know what to say about this, so I'll just let the picture do the talking.


Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Day Before Tomorrow

The day before tomorrow would be today. Just in case you didn't quite get it. What's tomorrow you ask? I'm glad you did. It's a very good question. Tomorrow is Blake's second birthday.

My birthdays don't count anymore. I used to have little parties where some friends would gather to eat, drink and play videogames, but now I'd rather focus the attention on Blake's birthday which is less than a month later.

We already ordered a birthday cake for tomorrow and today we went shopping for food and drinks and picked up the balloons we ordered a few days before. Blake tagged along and squeezed in a nap while we were out and about. We also had lunch at Burger King and Blake got his very own kids meal there for the first time rather than just steal a few bites from what we were eating. Exciting!

Most of the evening was spent crafting my own gift for Blake: a scrapbook with big photos of things he likes. 

Last time I reviewed Blake's development was six months ago when he was a year and a half. So here are the new things learnt to do over the last few months:

I guess the most impressive thing was mastering his iPod Touch. He only got one so I could reclaim back my iPhone. He enjoyed playing with my iPhone once in a while, but then he demanded it every time I took it out to answer the phone or check my e-mail and later when realizing that it was usually in my pockets, he'd go through my pockets and will be very annoyed if it wasn't there. So he got his own. At first he'd bring his iPod Touch to me to change applications or videos for him until he was happy. Since he still doesn't quite talk, it'll be trial and error until I picked something he did like. He'd just keep handing me back the iPod until that happened. And then suddenly he figured it all out. Press the big round button to quit a program and to unlock the iPod you need to rub the slider sideways. Seemingly out of nowhere he could navigate his applications perfectly, all from watching me do it a few times. For me that's quite amazing that he grasps the concept of a touch screen so intuitively. In fact, he'd often try to touch regular screens like a TV or a PSP and be very disappointed by the primitive display that doesn't respond to his finger.

Blake is really into his toy cars. We got him a couple of boxes full of small cars and they are now all over the house. He enjoys "driving" them on any surface he can find, including the shelves of the fridge. He likes putting them in the few kitchen drawers that can't be child-proofed, but he's not tall enough to look into the drawer so he has a much more difficult time taking the cars out. He also likes real cars and can stand for hours at the side of the road and watch vehicles drive by. The busier the road, the better. Sometimes he would wave his hands and shout in excitement as if cheering a car race only he is aware of.

He has completely mastered going up and down the stairs so we removed the gate at the top which was just a useless nuisance at that point. Blake climbs the stairs up and slides backwards on his belly on the way down.

As I mentioned recently, he gave up the bottle almost two months ago. We skipped the sippy cups and he moved straight to regular glasses (we have plastic ones that look like glass, but practically unbreakable). He can pick up the glass and drink carefully, but I'd usually put a hand under his chin or hold his glass for him as there's a good chance he will spill it on himself, resulting in unsolicited entry into a wet t-shirt contest. Blake has also finally figured out the concept of straws which is surprisingly convenient.

Blake still isn't talking, which is apparently isn't too uncommon in bilingual homes, especially since we both speak to him mostly English which isn't a mother tongue for either of us. We spoke to his paediatrician while visiting Toronto (Blake is covered until 2) and he said it was way too early to worry about it. Regardless, Blake knows how to communicate to us what he wants very well. He might put something in my hand or grab me and lead me somewhere while making various noises. It's all very creative and I'm sure he'll soon figure out that just saying it in two or three words will be much simpler.

There are probably million of other things I forgot and I might add them later, but it's getting late and I gotta go to bed because tomorrow is going to be a very busy and very fun day. I can't wait. 

As Blake keeps growing up and keep leaving behind old versions of him that I'll never get to see again (outside of photos and videos), I find myself both missing his many different past versions while at the same time can't wait to meet all the new Blakes that are going to pop out of nowhere over the next few years.

By the time I got to this part it's now after midnight, so happy birthday son!


Friday, May 21, 2010

Eddie - The Saga Continues to Continue

Part 1 Part 2

Chapter Five: In Which I Fight Back and Learn an Important Lesson About Love and Friendship

Well, that second part of the chapter title is nonsense, but I think it makes it sound much more promising.

Yesterday I took Blake and walked to our local police station. Before I left I needed to do some research to fill in some blanks. Up until yesterday I didn't know Uselessa's name or where she lived. Now I knew her first initial and last name, but still no address, since she was too cowardly to sign her letter with her full name and address. I knew the street as I once saw Uselesson come out of one of the houses, but didn't remember the number. I went to an on-line phone directory and found only one Norman family living on said street. Thanks to Google Maps I could find a picture of her house in seconds. As I walked past the suspected house on the way to the station I saw Uselesson talking to someone just outside. Gotcha!  Totally went CSI on their asses.

Blake and I arrived at the police station only to realize it was shut.

Oh well, we walked back home and took the car to the other nearest station. Blake is always up for adventure so he thought it was quite exciting. We had to wait about forty minutes, but eventually we were seen by a nice officer who looked a little like Don Cheadle.

 Officer Cheadle

We were in a small room with a divider between us. I let Blake play on the ground with one of his toy cars and my iPhone while I chatted to Don. I explained that I would've come right after the incident, but I had to go to work and this was my first day off since. I didn't bore him with too many details and he said/she said nonsense. That's what I have my blog for. I explained that me and my dogs have been terrorised by Eddie for eight years, describing the key incidents and giving whatever details I had about Uselessa.

"Did he attack any people?" Don interjected.

"No." I replied. "But if my not-quite-yet two year old son is with me when this sort of incident takes place he can get hurt and I don't want to wait for that to happen. This dog is a menace and he's been stressing me for eight years now."

"Well, you can't file a complaint when no people were attacked." Mr Cheadle informed me. "I'll tell you what can be done. There's a local team assigned to your area. They can talk to this woman and let her know she needs to blah blah blah, I was pretty awesome in Iron Man 2, right? I'm not going to say no to a War Machine spin off movie, but how many super hero movies are there with black men in the lead? Blade doesn't count because while being based on a comicbook he's not really a superhero and Hancock... Well, I guess Hancock counts. Forget I said anything."

Can't quite remember the exact wordings and I'm too tired to make it up properly. Basically Uselessa is going to be either visited or get a phone call from that team. I wish I could see the expression on her face when that happens. I gave him all my details and what I managed to piece together about Uselessa.

So I finished up quickly telling the cop that I just wanted to put it on record because if this will carry on I can't guarantee the safety of her dogs and if this sort of incident will take place when my son is present I myself will take action against these out of control dogs before they get anywhere near him. It's been eight years and enough is enough. Don Cheadle smiled politely and apologized for taking part in Hotel for Dogs (he thought it was going to be with Julia Roberts, not her bratty niece Emma) and we parted ways.

That made me think... Why did I get a visit and a letter directly from Uselessa? Why didn't I get a letter or visit from the authorities? And thinking about this letter, why didn't she sign it with her full name and address? What's the point of sending a copy of it to the police station if it doesn't have her full details? 

I'm beginning to think she never went to the police nor sent them a copy of her letter. Maybe she called the station to give her distorted version of the story. I think she was just trying to scare me into paying her invoice, which is yet to arrive. She knows too well that there are too many witnesses who will be happy to confirm that evil Eddie is always off the lead and out of control. I doubt my dogs are the only ones he harasses.

I'm just glad it was one of her dogs who got hurt. If the incident happened near a road and one of my dogs would've been hit by a car this would've been far more upsetting. Hopefully it scared her into keeping her dogs on the lead, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

I don't know if the authorities are going to contact her and I don't care. I'm done for now. She might decide to make another move or not, but I'm sure we'll meet again in one of our morning walks sooner or later. 

Until then, I'd like to move on. It's Blake's birthday on Sunday and that's what I'm going to concentrate on from now. Enough talking about bitches.


What happened next? Read the sequel Road to Doggie Juvie!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Eddie - The Saga Continues

Part 1 

Chapter Four: In Which I Go "Oh No She Didn't!"

After yesterday's events I wasn't sure if there would be any new developments today. I was intending to go to the police tomorrow anyway. I came home from college, picked Blake up from his nursery and chilled at home. In the middle of watching Lost's penultimate episode (which wasn't actually too bad), Miron walked in with a letter he just noticed was placed in our mailbox.

Oh yes.

The letter was addressed to "The Owner of Leo and other", which resulted in Dexter getting the nickname "other" for the rest of the evening. I now know that Uselessa is really called S Norman and that her little bitch is called Pippa. I would still rather refer to her as Uselessa with your kind approval. 

According to Uselessa the attack occurred when my dogs broke free from me. Not one word about Eddie initiating the attack, rushing my dogs growling and barking from across the field with Uselessa running after him and screaming his name until he got an inch away from my dogs. She went on about the surgery and the injuries Pippa obtained and said how she was appaled not only by the "horrific attack", but also my "apparent lack of concern".

She then went on to helpfully urge me to muzzle my dogs (I'm not joking, she's actually giving dog handling tips!) and informed me that both the police and her vet notified her that I am liable for the vet costs (after hearing her abridged version, I'm sure) and she will be forwarding me the invoice for settlement as soon as she gets it. Good. Who knows when we'll run out of toilet paper.

This is the part where I channel my inner black girl and go "Uh-huh! On no, you didn't!".

Tomorrow morning I'll take Blake for a morning walk and visit the local police branch. I was annoyed and stressed by Eddie for a long time, but there isn't much that can be done in situations like this. Also, I didn't know the Uselessons' names and address, but now that's not a problem. I'll go and give my side of the story, not only yesterday's events, but the last eight years.

Don't get me wrong. I feel very bad for Pippa, but not guilty. I keep replaying yesterday's events and can't see what I could've possibly done differently. My dogs are bigger and can cause damage when they jump around with little dogs. True, but they didn't initiate the fight. If they really wanted to hurt the Jack Russels, neither one would be alive right now.

Of course I couldn't concentrate on the rest of the Lost episode and didn't enjoy it as much as I should've. Lovely.

Anyway, to be freakin' continued! You betcha.


Part 3

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Eddie - The Story So Far

Chapter One: In Which We Meet Eddie

 This is Frasier's Eddie. "Our" Eddie looks similar only dirtier and evil.

We moved to our current house eight years ago, just a month after we bought Kato, our first Great Dane. We got Leo three and a half years later and Dexter another three and a half years later when Kato passed away. Nice neighbourhood with a nice big park next door.

And Eddie.

Eddie is a vicious little dog who lives just around the corner. He's a Jack Russel just like the one from Frasier (hence the immensely original name). Only our neighbour Eddie is the most awful dog you could imagine. He's like a combination between Marley the labrador and Jason Voorhees with none of the charisma. Always off the lead with either his mommy or daddy running after him and screaming his name only to be completely ignored. You'd think after eight years they'd get him on a lead, but no such luck.

Most incidents with Eddie involved me commanding Kato to stay and pull at his lead until one of Eddie's useless owners will manage to get a hold of him and drag him away. Once Eddie came out of nowhere and placed his paws on Kato's shoulders and growled at him straight in the face. This tiny little demon and this massive, magnificent gentle giant who just stared at his attacker in confusion not quite sure what species he belonged to. I was very impressed with Kato. I wouldn't really blamed him if he bit Eddie's head off and spit it. I mean, seriously, the dog was practically sticking his head into Kato's mouth. I couldn't swat him away as I feared Kato will take that as a signal to attack. Eventually the useless middle aged woman (let's call her uselessa for ease of storytelling) arrived and took Eddie away without even an apology.

And so it went on for years. Leo joined our family, who was an excitable puppy for the next few years. Now I had to restrain two dogs while Uslessa's little bastard kept running around out of control. Not once have I ever seen him on a lead. Not once.

Then one day he got into my dogs' face again when his useless male owner was running after him, calling his name in futility (let's call him Uselesson). It was then that Leo grabbed Eddie's back with his mouth and flung him away. I watched in horror as Eddie flew through the air. I hanged around to make sure he was more or less OK. As I was leaving my horror turned into pride. Leo had every right to do what he did and did so with restraint and grace. Just fling the little nuisance out of the way as if he was a buzzing fly. I couldn't really tell him off for that.

That bought us a few quiet months. Maybe years, I can't quite remember. But eventually Eddie returned to his evil ways. Kato passed away and Dexter joined our family while Eddie was suddenly joined by a small female companion who was quiet and sweet, but was obviously into bad boys.

I can control my dogs on the lead. They are big and excited, but I can restrain them with a combination of strength and verbal commands. Every morning they go on the lead and I'm on the lookout for other dogs, hoping to notice them first and avoid contact. Dexter is still really a puppy and he is desperate to play with anything with four legs, so it's best to avoid any contact near a road. But really, I'm always on the lookout for Eddie. Always. I always assume the little shit will come running from around the corner and always stress about a possible encounter even when one doesn't happen.

Today it did.

Chapter Two: In Which Three Dogs, Two Bitches and One Human Meet

Evil vicious dogs. Look into those murderous eyes!

As I was heading back I was walking in a path that went between a row of back gardens and the park. Between me and the park was a large metal fence. I noticed Eddie the same time he noticed my dogs. They stopped and stood their ground in anticipation. Eddie broke into a run from fairly far away away, barking and growling. After him ran Uselessa who screamed his name repeatedly only to be completely ignored. You'd think she would've figured out by now that her vocal commands had the same chance of stopping him as sticking a finger up her own butt. Behind her ran the little bitch (unlike Uselessa, she was literally a bitch). 

"If you don't get hold of your dog this is not going to end well!" I shouted angrily and then kept telling Leo and Dexter to stay as calmly as I could. They were both getting very excited by the little dogs running their way. More shouting from Uselessa and before you know it Eddie reached my dogs with only the fence separating us, barking and growling. At that point they went crazy and tore the leads out of my hands, which was a preferable alternative to having my arms torn off or being dragged along. I can control my dogs quite well, but when an off the lead dog attacks them barking and growling and gets an inch away from their face, I guess that's the limit of my control.

I ran after them around the fence into the park, shouting: "See what happens?!?". Uselessa stood around screaming "Oh my God" and being typically useless. My dogs were running in circles, scaring the little pooches. Usually Eddie bullies dogs on the lead who are held back by their owners, feeling strong and superios as if the only thing keeping those dogs away was his terrifying yelps. Well, he stopped barking very quickly when he was the one being chased. I knew better than to get between fighting dogs. Most dogs aren't really attacking, it's more of a ritual dance when they size each other up. Get in the middle and you are very likely to get bitten and make things worse (I'm not that smart, I saw it on some dog training tv show). Eventually my dogs snapped out of it and came back to me. I was so angry.

As I was walking away Uselessa said something. I assumed it must have been an apology for eight years of going around without a lead (I doubt she even owned one) and being unable to control her dog. I was wrong.

"If my dogs are hurt your dogs will need to be put down!" She said angrily.

I stopped in my tracks and turned around with a raised eyebrow. "Excuse me? Your dog came running off the lead towards my dogs and antagonized them an inch from their face."

"She didn't!" She shouted. It's true her little bitch didn't, but what did it matter

"It doesn't matter! It's your dog who started it, you stupid woman." I said.

"I'm calling the police!" She snapped.

"Please do!" I bellowed. "I wonder who's dogs were on the lead and who's dogs were running wild and attacking! You stupid woman!"

"It doesn't matter!" She shouted that or something else, I can't quite remember as my hearing was impaired by the sound of boiling blood inside me.

"If your dog doesn't obey you, put him on the lead!" I shouted and left. It was seven thirty and I still had to feed the dogs, wake up Blake, change him and give him his breakfast before leaving to college to teach. I told Miron about the incident to vent a little and left home to work. I was still annoyed, but managed to forget about it.

Until the evening, that is.

Chapter Three: In Which Unwelcome Guests Drop By

Blake at four months, being terrorised by Kato.

At around eight thirty after Miron made us dinner and after I fed the dogs I sat down in front of the X-Box to play some Fable 2 (great game) and relax after a long and busy day that started with a dog fight, continued with a long day at college and some chores at home and was still not over. Then the doorbell rang.

"Are you expecting someone?" I called upstairs to Miron as I walked to the dog. I opened the door.

Leo, Dexter and Blake were by the door eager to see who's on the other side. For a second I thought it was some Jehovah witnesses. It was the first time in my entire life that I was disappointed that wasn't the case. It was Uselessa and a young woman I'll assume was her daughter and will therefore be referred to as Uselessa Jr. My initial thought was "oh no, you didn't just come to my house to continue this", but I wanted to hear what they had to say before I said anything.

Uselessa Jr was well spoken and confident (compared to Sr, anyway) and went straight to the point, talking quickly and clearly.

"We're here about the attack on our dogs. We've been to the vet and the dog was in surgery for seven hours and it was touch and go. In fact, if she wasn't over weight she probably would've died."

Yes, that's what she said. I'm not making that up. Fatten up your dogs, you may save their lives!

"For a start at the very least we think you should pay for the vet expenses."

"Miron!" I tilted my head back and shouted. "Would you come down please? It's about the dog incident I told you about."

Two of them obviously required two of us. I also needed to take the dogs and Blake away from the door as they kept trying to see what was going on.

I overheard the conversation as I led the dogs to the garden and picked up Blake.

"Yes?" Miron said politely.

"We've just been to the police to report your dogs. They attacked and hurt out dogs and we have photos and everything."

"Well, we plan to go to the police and report your dogs who are off the lead and out of control" Miron replied.

"You wouldn't have a leg to stand on." Uslessa Jr Uttered, ready to carry on when Miron closed the door in her face.

"Goodbye" He squeezed in the last word.

Needless to say we were pissed off. How dare they come to our house and claim our dogs attacked her dogs? I saw the incident. If my dogs wanted her dogs dead they could've killed them with one bite. Any injuries, if such occurred, were probably accidental as they were jumping around.

Pay the vet bills? And what happens when her dog, merrily off the lead, gets in my dogs' face again growling and barking? Should I pay the burial costs when he finally manages to commit suicide?

This is where the saga ends for today. I'm not sure if they'll follow it up as they don't really have a case, but we're certainly going to head to the police on Thursday to report a counter complaint about Eddie being an off the lead and out of control menace. I would love for them to come visit us at home and see how "vicious" and "aggressive" my two pooches are and how they are such dangerous beasts that a two year old toddler, since he was four months, can pull at their ears and steal food from their bowls when they eat. The Hounds of the Freakin' Baskerville.

I'm sorry the little doggie got hurt, but I can't say I feel guilt. At the very least I hope Uselessa and Uselesson will be too scared to let their devil spawn run around off the lead. I somehow doubt it.

To Be Continued?...


Part 2

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Case for Gay Parents

There are various arguments against gay people becoming parents. I’m going to ignore the utterly ignorant and hateful ones such as all gays being paedophiles (my counter argument is that they’re not). Instead I’ll focus on the two main arguments that are often used by people who would otherwise classify themselves as gay friendly. These are:

1. A child needs a mother and a father (they might add "just like nature/God intended" to be extra obnoxious and righteous).

2. Children to gay parents are going to be bullied at school.

I’ll start with the second argument since it’s the easiest to destroy. Yeah, a child to gay parents might be bullied at school. So what? Since when is the blame with anyone else other than the bully? One of my teachers as a kid had Tourette Syndrome. She didn’t curse (only a very small minority does that), but she would often make sudden weird noises and her face would twitch. She had two boys. Should she have not had those children in case some kids at school would bully them because their mom is “weird”? And what about ugly people? Maybe ethnic minorities shouldn’t have kids so their kids won’t face racism-based bullying?

So yeah, children to gay parents, among other groups, are more likely to get bullied and what a shame that is, isn't it? But it’s not a reason to prevent gay people from becoming parents.

So on to the first reason I mentioned: children need both a mother and a father. The answer to this argument needs to be broken into three parts:

1. First of all, children to gay parents aren’t being stolen from straight couples. Children to gay parents are either conceived or adopted. Adopted kids face life without parents or bouncing from foster home to foster home. So getting one loving parent, let alone two, is a major improvement to their family life. Babies who are conceived by gay parents (either by surrogacy or the turkey baster)  are children who wouldn’t exist otherwise. I’m yet to meet children to gay parents who wished they had straight parents instead the parents they did have (not saying they don't exist), but I’m sure it’ll be even harder to find children to gay parents who wish they were never born!

2. Secondly, the statement is sexist as it assumes that all mothers are the same because they have a vagina and all fathers are the same because they have a penis. I love my parents because they loved me and did so much for me, I love them for the people they are. The fact that they are a male and a female is irrelevant. Sure, a unique motherly aspect is being breastfed, but many mothers don’t breastfeed, so are they less motherly for that? Nowadays it’s more acceptable to have stay at home dads while mom goes out to earn money. Not all mothers are cuddly and loving and not all fathers are into sports (*cough*). And to be honest, some mothers and fathers are vicious and cruel human beings who should never even have children to begin with. Add to that the fact that many children end up seeing their parents divorce and have their little perfect world shatter. So I think it’s far more important that a child has committed parents in a loving relationship rather than focus on what’s dangling or hidden between their legs.

3. Straight couples often have children for the wrong reasons. How many children were born because of unsafe sex? How many children in the third world were born because the population isn’t educated enough about safe sex (thanks, Pope)? How many couples get married and have children just because their family expects them to? How many people end up with way more children than they can support financially or emotionally?

Gay parents never get pregnant by mistake. It’s always a long, tedious and expensive process that results in very wanted babies who are much more likely to get the most important thing a child needs: love.

There are so many children in the world in genuine danger facing abuse, hunger and the constant threat of death. If you are really worried about the well being of children, there are many real issues that require urgent action.

I hope that by being an openly gay father I will help spread the message to other gay people that just because you are gay doesn’t mean that you can’t have a family with a spouse, children and a dog (or better yet, two). The idea that families must have a mother and a father is an old fashioned concept that doesn’t stand against rational thinking and had far more damage done to it by high straight divorce rates than by gay families.


Thursday, May 06, 2010

Lost Lost Me

I like Lost. It's a great show and it's about to end. I want to talk about just one scene from this week's episode, so you haven't seen it or not sure if you did, STOP READING as there are major spoilers ahead. If you don't watch the show and don't intend to read on as knowledge of the show is not needed.

Anyway. Sun and Jin are a married couple. There's an explosion in the submarine they're in and Sun gets trapped under debris. The gang tries freeing her, with no success. Eventually as the sinking submarine fills with water, everyone leaves expect for Jin who keeps trying to save Sun. She shouts at him to go and he refuses. He keeps trying to save her. When it becomes clear that he can't release her , Sun shouts at him to go away one last time. He says he'll never leave her again and they have a touchy-feely moment before they both drown. She never really wanted Jin to swim away. You see, Sun was like a polite guest reclining the offer of cake, but secretly hoping that the host will keep offering until she would "have" to accept the yummy cake.

How very romantic.

Only one problem! THEY HAVE A YOUNG DAUGHTER! How come at no point did Sun scream at Jin that he should get the hell out so their daughter won't have to lose both parents?

If I was in Sun's shoes (made for tiny female Korean feet, my poor toes will be crushed!) I know that my son will be the main thing on my mind and I'll demand my husband to kindly swim to safety to be there for our son or I'll kill him myself before we both drown. Or I'd at least fart to make the little bit of air remaining in the submarine as foul as it could possibly be.

That scene really bothered me and hurt my immersion. It felt unrealistic, especially since they were both talking about their daughter just a couple of scenes earlier. 

I wonder if I would've had the same reaction if I saw that scene before I became a parent. I guess any movie/TV show/ story with parents and children affects me differently now. Before I became a parent I'd be aligning myself with the child character and now I almost always put myself in the parent's shoes. Weird.

Not sure how to end this post. Not sure I have a point.

Chocolate! (always a good ending)


Monday, May 03, 2010

Hide & Seek

Who knew playing hide and seek was going to be fun again one day?

(I'm still catching up with life and getting over the jetlag, so a cute Blake video is always a good filler!)