Sunday, May 08, 2011

The Mother of all Posts.

A couple of TV shows reminded me that it is Mother's day today. Well, in the States, Canada and a bunch of other countries. So first of all, happy mother's day, etc. Now that that is out of the way, on with my post.

Mother's Day and Father's Day are odd days for gay couples and Modern Family addressed that issue head on in their latest episode. Mitchell brings Cameron breakfast to bed on Mother's Day and Cameron gets offended that he is being treated as the "mother", a woman! The entire episode throws wacky situations at Cameron as everyone treats him as the "mother". To make amends Mitchell reads for Cameron the definition of a mother from a mother's day card: "warm, nurturing, supportive". That is what everyone sees in Cameron when they refer to him as the "mother". Cameron is satisfied with that and the drama is over.

I find that a bit offensive. Why would these three words be the sole domain of mothers? Fathers can't be warm, nurturing and supportive? Gay people are not the only mother-less families. In some families the mother has passed away or even just left. In other families the mother is the one earning the big bucks, leaving the child rearing to the husband. To say to a father who is doing a good job that he is "like" a mother is offensive and sexist. When Miron would jokingly refer to me as Blake's "mommy" I would just put a stop to that then and there. No smiles or jokes, just a stern face and a "no, I am not."

Basically, what I am saying is that having a vagina does not automatically make a person a better parent or instill certain "motherly" qualities in them. Just like being gay does not mean I have a better fashion sense than straight men. Oh goodness, just ask my husband...

To add insult to injury, later in the same episode of Modern Family they unwittingly take a jab at lesbian mothers. "You only get one mom" Jay weeps as he gets emotionally overwhelmed thinking about his dead mother (this quote is also the title of the episode). Really? I would expect that from any other sitcom, especially one from the eighties, but not from Modern Family, a sitcom priding itself for the portrayal of a gay parented family. Some kids got two moms, you know.



Mark said...

Mickey, for fear of you removing me from your Follower list, I think that you are being a little too sensitive. I was not offended at all by Modern Family. Fred calls me Woman all the time and I don't care. Perhaps if he called me that in mixed company, I might be offended. And although we are two men, in the first week of raising John, I knew what my role would be. It was easy since Fred left all of the nuturing to me. Along with four thousand diaper changes. Mostly I'm not offended by it because whenever the kids need "loved-up", they come to me. Except for Jacob. He can be a little bitch sometimes. But he's cute so he's forgiven.
So I guess what I'm saying is, Man-up! It takes a real man to be a Mother.
Your Friend, m.

Mickey said...

GET OUT, MARK! NOW! How dare you disagree with me on my blog!!! :-p I'm kidding, you can stay as long as you'll agree with everything I spout from now on.

I totally agree that there is a role devision between parents regarding of whether they are a straight or gay couple, but I won't automatically assign those roles into "male" and "female", "mom" and "dad". Is a straight dad who stays at home with the kids while his wife works becomes the "mommy"? No in my view.

A daddy can be tasked with "loving up" without becoming a mommy.

I was more annoyed by the "you only get one mom" comment, to be fair, as I know at least one lesbian couple that was offended by a similar phrase.

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