Monday, December 05, 2011

The Case Against Gay Marriage

Do you support gay marriage? Do you consider yourself pro-gay?

If so, you are part of the problem. 

Wait, wait. Don't go, you haven't arrived by mistake at the American Family Association or Family Research Center websites. Though one must wonder why the biggest and most hateful bigots always like to substitute the word "hatred" with "family". Whatever, perhaps that's a different blog post for another time. Anyway, let me clarify what I mean by saying you are part of the problem before you get genuinely offended. Roll with me, I am going somewhere with this.

I think the term gay marriage is inadvertently offensive. Homosexuality is not a religion (though if it was, it would be a fabulous one). There is no such thing as gay marriage just like there's no such thing as black marriage.

It's like referring to the right of gay people to vote as "gay votes". It's just "votes".

There's just marriage. The question is, who gets the right to get married and who doesn't.

I didn't get gay-married, I simply got "married". We invited people to our wedding, not our gay wedding.

It may sound very obvious when I put it like that, but it took me a while to get there myself. There is really nothing that exciting and worth shouting about regarding the fact that I am gay. It is not some secret spice that makes everything in my life more interesting: my marriage, my fatherhood, my hobbies. Being gay affects only one aspect of my life: my terrible taste in TV shows.

I used to describe myself as a gay parent on this blog and anywhere else I could, but I stopped. I am not a gay parent. Being a gay parent doesn't mean that I go about things in a different way. If I look back critically on my work as a parent since Blake was born I can highlight many positives and many negatives. None of them have anything to do with the fact that I am gay.

It may seem as if I'm nitpicking with semantics here, but I think it's a big part of perception. The question shouldn't be "do you support gay marriage" or "gay adoption" or "gay parents". It should be much simpler and encompassing: "Do you believe gay people should have equal rights?".

Heck, I'll take it even one step further. "Do you believe everyone should have equal rights?". It's not a gay rights thing, it's a human rights thing.

Most people who object to giving gay people equal rights argue that being gay is a preference, a perverted life style choice. So while it's wrong to discriminate against someone because of their religion or race, the same does not apply to sexual orientation.

I would argue that out of the three factors: race, religion and sexual orientation - religion is actually the only one that is a choice, a set of beliefs a person chooses to stick with. A person can decide to convert to another religion. I can't just decide to start being attracted to Rihanna no matter how much she sluts it out on music award shows.

So you should not support gay marriage or consider yourself pro gay. You should support marriage equality and human rights.

And while some people will proudly declare themselves as anti-gay they should really be described as anti-human rights. 

And douchebags.



Someone posted this on a forum I go to after I made a similar point to the one I made in this post.

I never heard of Liz Feldman, but I am already a fan.


Mark said...

We agree!
Although I'm sure, over the years, I have actually said "gay marriage". But I have tried to stay clear of it for awhile. Let me know if I slip up and do it again, okay?
Great post!

Mickey said...

Mark, you just said "gay marriage" in this very post. Just pointing it out because you asked. I'm just being nice.

4rx said...

Very valid points indeed. These were the feminist claims a couple of decades back.